True Pleasures

Pleasures have often been things that brought a person eminse joy. I'm talking about sex, food, video games, comics, travel you name it. We have all found pleasure in one of those areas and some of us in many.  what is do I find pleasureable is a question I have never before thought to ask myself. It really never dawned on me until I started reading Eat, Pray, Love. I realized I enjoy many things but to just truly take pleasure in them had escaped me. How  could a person so open to new things and  the  world around her possible miss out on knowing what pleasured her and was pleasing. When had I really esperienced it or hell at this stage in the game had I ever. Had I found pleasure in any of the area I just spoke of.. I had to think, look back over my life and wonder. Thankfuly I did not have to do this for long.


My first real pleasure was not sex or even food it was Freedom. Well duh you live in America of course. I hate to blindside yall but even here we are not really free.not the freedom I am talking about. While I was in the navy stationed on board the U.S.S. Flint is where I had that pleasure..

we where out to sea and hauling but to someplace I can't remember now but we where going fast enough  with or against the wind that you could feel it push against you. Now what made me do what I did I have no idea. I leaned in against the wind and I just let go. There I was relying on the wind to hold me knowing full well we could turn at any minute and I would bust my ass. I laughed with such joy and pleasure that the people  on the level below the signal bridge looked up to see what was going on.

 As the wind held me I had no fear, no preconceived notions, no worries nothing I was free and floating on the wind like the birds I often now admire..That monent has hung  with me and gave me the greatest pleasure and  the best way I can describe it is  well hell I can't but the one thing that comes close is the music from the song Clocks by Cold Play the first time I heard that song it brought to mind that day. yeah that songs on my Touch.

others are a black bug with a red X on its back no clue what it was but my first born at age five insisted we had to watch it cross the road. I was rushing and going to miss the bus but he would not move. I gave in and watched. He taught me the Pleasure of slowing down to see the amazement in all thing even those as small as a bug.

I have spent many morning before work walking around and going to Barnes and Nobles but there have been two morning I had that where just sheer bliss. I went to pick up my Glamor Shots  yeah  I got some sweet pics from there. Anyway that morning I got a Black and white Frappalate from Coffe Beanery in Patrick Henery Mall.

I had one before and loved it but that morning I could feel the  whip cream and taste the choclatete  as I licked it off my finger and dam was it good I mean decadent good. On top of getting pretzal bits and a cool new neclace made of blown glass and sahaped like a snake I felt like I was walking on air.

Before those moments snuck up on me and slipped away now I look forward to fully experiencing each and everyone and I  Do.

Freedom Park

This is a park in Williamsburg, Virgina its a bit out of the way if you live in Virgina Beach but  to see what the homes of  freed slaves looked like is and eye opener and and a reminder to be grateful for what space you have..   These Enjoy what follows

The Lightfoot House

                                                                           

The Brown Home

   

                                                                             

The Jackson Home

 

Stress, Talk & Tears and 40

"Stress it's a killer" Bartock from Disney's Anastasia once said. Of course so have many doctors and having felt the vice grip and ice pick headaches as well as my increased vertigo you would think I would manage my stress better. Not so much

I am the person who cared for everyone and fails to let them know when limits have been reached. I keep things inside and don't talk about what bothers me till I am about to snap or become ill, by then I need to dig down and figure our what is wrong, to find the source as well as a release.

Tears, I have for a very long time felt that tears are a sign of weakness a crack on the proverbial armor. I have despised the water that leaks from my eyes and fought to not let emotion control me. Because of this for others to see me in tears was a warning of impending doom or great concern.

You may be wondering what being 40 and tears have have to do with stress and why talking is so important

The stress in my life come from various fronts. life goes through cycles of endings and beginnings, a point which at 40 I found myself and now at 43 continue to watch unfold but with different eyes and wisdom. I was exposed to a myriad of emotions that I had not encountered before, you know the ones you get when in youth sorrow from heartache, envy, jealousy and the list goes on. In my youth I was always happy for others never wanted or needed much at much at all. But when I look at my life then and now I see that my emotions were dulled. I felt but I didn't , I loved but I didn't.

it's only been on my very late 30's and 40's that I have truly begun to feel to not just discover but to create who I am and with that comes the tears of facing past choices and changing my path. I have learned that crying is not some horrible weakness but a blessing of release. Tears are a needed renewal to cleanse a long fester wound or put you on the path to acceptance or get you to a place where you can finally talk.

Talking is something I have long been able to do but never about what bothered me or how I truly feel. I have yet to master this and with some it seems an impossible task. I am able to talk to some about how I feel more freely but even with assurances it is still a difficult task or maybe more a challenge but at least. I am working on it.

At 40 I am learning to live and love it for all that each cycle brings. I once spoke to a girlfriend in her 50's about this and said it seems I am a late bloomer. she smiled at me and said " all the times before are building blocks to get you to this point. To get you to this place with these people. I'd say your blooming is right on time". I don't see her often but I do know our paths have crossed for a reason which I hope continues to be a blessing to us both.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

Blog Changes

This as you can tell is my photo blog and it has gone threw several changes in the past few months as well as not  many post. I have several pictures that I will be uploading as the weeks to come. Before I would just put up a picture and where it  was taken. I will be putting at least a line or two about each picture and if you see one that you would like  then let me know.  I may eventually put paypal on here and  lock my photos to keep them from being download as well.. we will have to see.. anyway enjoy the images of the many paths I wonder on be it urban, country woods or home.....

Comfort Foods

Comfort foods... hump I use to think and maybe then I was right that I really had none. Now as I  look back I realize I have three foods I fall back on depending on just how stress or upset I am. now mind you  must not fall back on them often as I have just found out I lost ten pounds but I digress... I have not put them in the order of which i go to for the worst times first.  No water Chai tea Latte from Starbucks,  Cookies  and milk. and Maple Walnut ice cream from Handels ice cream.

Now the fact that  Found my comfort food purly by accident may sound silly but it was. I  was at one of my high stress times when it seemed that everything was about to cave in and  I went to the store and got a Chai. Now i normally drink this on a regular basis so me getting one is nothing new but the first drink i took  I felt my body just let go of the stress. It was a combanation of the  warmth of the milk and  the smell of the spices and the taste as it went down.  I enjoyed that chai more than any other I have had and I tell you it has become my drink ofchoice for those  times when stress is pushig me of the edge.  and yes I know they use a mix and a syrup...

Cookies and milk of course I came to relize was my destressor from work and  some personal crap i am working thru. and Handles Ice cream well that for a time when I just need a release and to be taken back to my childhood where it was plentful. here in the south I have only found my maple walnut at Handles.


Man I could go for some cookies and milk right now.. yeah its that kind of day....

Family vacation

It's has been a long time since my family gas gone someplace to just be.  It's great to watch as they swim in a river for the first time  (James river)  and a lake for the first time.  It's good to have seen my oh so moody 18yr old smile and laugh.  I got some really nice photos that I will share soon and stories of our hike. Untill  then have a good holiday..