Oh Turkey Day

Well Thanksgiving is upon us and for a change I am off this year. as of this moment I have yet to buy even one single item for the  feast. Lazy and  slightly unmotivated but that is where a nap and  1 am trip to Walmart come in. Yes at 1am I will get up and drag myself to Walmart in the hopes of getting all I need for the holiday.. Why so late or  early well I want to go alone and hope to G-d the store is not overrun with folks that time day.  I enjoy the holidays as well as the cooking the prep part not so much I guess.  well I am off to make a list  for all those who read this.... Have a Happy Thanksgiving and when you get the wishbone, make it a good one..

Stress, Talk & Tears and 40

"Stress it's a killer" Bartock from Disney's Anastasia once said. Of course so have many doctors and having felt the vice grip and ice pick headaches as well as my increased vertigo you would think I would manage my stress better. Not so much

I am the person who cared for everyone and fails to let them know when limits have been reached. I keep things inside and don't talk about what bothers me till I am about to snap or become I'll, by then I need to dig down and figure our what is wrong, to find the source as well as a release.

Tears, I have for a very long time felt that tears are a sign of weakness a crack on the peverible armor. I have despised the water that leaks from my eyes and fought to not let emotion control me. Because of this for others to see me in tears was a warning of impending doom or great concern.

You may be wondering what being 40 and tears have have to do with stress and why talking is so important

The stress in my life come from various fronts. life goes through cycles of endings and beginings, a point which at 40 I found myself and now at 43 continue to watch unfold but with different eyes and wisdom. I was exposed to a myrid of emotions that I had not encountered before, you know the ones you get when in youth sorrow from heartache, envey, jelousy and the list goes on. In my youth I was always happy for others never wanted or needed much at much at all. But when I look at my life then and now I see that my emotions were dulled. I felt but I didn't , I loved but I didn't.

it's only been on my very late 30's and 40's that I have truely begun to feel to not just discover but to create who I am and with that comes the tears of facing past choices and changing my path. I have learned that crying is not some horrible weakness but a blessing of release. Tears are a needed renewal to cleanse a long fester wound or put you on the path to acceptence or get you to a place where you can finally talk.

Talking is something I have long been able to do but never about what bothered me or how I truely feel. I have yet to master this and with some it seems an impossible task. I am able to talk to some about how I feel more freely but even with assurences it is stil a difficult task or maybe more a challenge but at least. I am working on it.

At 40 I am learning to live and love it for all that each cycle brings. I once spoke to a girlfriend in her 50's about this and said it seems I am a late bloomer. she smiled at me and said " all the times before are building blocks to get you to this point. To get you to this place with these people. I'd say your blooming is right on time". I don't see her often but I do know our paths have crossed for a reason which I hope continues to be a blessing to us both.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

East Coast Hikers

Well, Sunday I finally got to go with my hiking meetup to a beach hike. We had set plans for Back Bay and False Cape but the  stranded barge waylaid that. so off to First Landing on 64th st. Dang that was closed as well due to the stupid storm.   In the end we hiked from 64th to Fort Story and back. a haul of about 8mi I would say and boy if you have not been hiking in a while on the way back 8 miles  starts to hurt a bit.  It was a  Beaautiful day and I meet some new people. All in all it was great and hey going to  hike with them this sunday as well can't wait.  Check out the pictures 64th to Fort Story

Love where I live

Making my way to Heritage to get elderberry and rose hip syrup I strolled down to the beach. He'll it's 70 on a November day and the best delight to me was a play park on the beach and families playing in the sand, dodging the waves and enjoy the day. I mean really where else can Pat Robertson and a giant statue of the ruler of the sea Neptune coexist. I mean if Pat predicts wrong we got Neptune for back up .

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

Dentist Visit

So a while back I went to the dentist. Really nice building had small room for you if you wanted to use the phone. Room for kids to play xbox or playstation while you wait and the bathroom had a nice mural. Really nice staff and doc

What blew me away was the flowers I got with a toothbrush saying welcome to the practice.

Talk about courting your customers wow.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

Daughter's First Con

The first weekend of November is the Neco Con. This year is was a bit weak but i am sure the economy had a lot to do with it. My baby girl who is into anime was excited as it was her first one so the pace was just what she needed. I type this now as she sits and watches Inuyasha on the internet. Here are some picks from her first time out... Next Con Katsucon...

Fred and Ester

If those names aren't familiar then you need to watch Sanford and Sons. Ester is Fred's sister in law and they go at every time they cross paths. That is how a friend at work describes
our relationship like Fred and Ester. He makes comments that would make the average girl cry or want to beat his ass. My response is just as corrosive. We go back and forth laugh and keep it moving.

The other day wast not so typical. I was in a truly foul mood and the guys around could tell but Fred was oblivious he made his comment and if looks could kill the guys said I would have pulled his intestines out threw his mouth. So guessing from that and the ohhh shit I heard as I turned my back it was pretty bad. Fred came to see if I was ok and realized then how far from ok I was.

A few minutes later Fred who could be described as a brutish ogre did the one thing I least expected, he came to my desk and laid a hand made card on my keyboard. Below is the outside on the inside it said smile it always makes me feel better. When I looked down I saw the card and felt the weight of anger and frustration just fall away and warmth take it's place.


That one small unexpected gesture meant a lot. I told him thank you and smiled. And just in case he ever finds this don't get a big head one kind gesture does not change a ogre to a prince.


Yeah Yeah the picks up top

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]